FINDING A CREATIVE LIFE (Part 2)

I continued, however, on my quest for purpose and creativity. I meditated on it. I wondered about it and kept my eyes open. My best friend Michelle traveled from her home in Canada for a visit and we took a trip to Northern California. Perched cliffside with tequila and a winter sunset we watched crashing ocean waves and billowing sea foam.

I have to tell you this dream I had last night, I told Michelle. I this dream I was pregnant. I mean like big and full with a round belly.

Oh, Mel, Michelle sighed. This is the one thing I've always wanted for you. You'd be a great mother and it makes me sad you haven't had that experience.

Believe me, I wouldn't be a great mother. It's because I know that I know it's not for us. No, this dream is about something else. I'm going to birth something but I don't know what it is yet. There's something out there I'm going to do that has my name on it, but I don't know what.

By the spring of 2005 I was given a clue. A local elementary school left fliers on the doorsteps of our neighborhood, asking for community volunteer help.

I showed the flier to William and told him, I'm going to go over there to a meeting.

What are you going to do?

I don't know. Something.

You can do whatever you want. Why would you want to volunteer at a school?

I don't know what else to do right now and if they need help it's stupid for me to hang around here trying out new recipes like it's some kind of calling.

There were five people at the meeting in the school library. The principal, a couple of parents and another non-parent volunteer, Michael. The group was planning a new kindergarten yard and needed help, so I signed up.

I asked Michael how I could help by doing something more academically oriented, and he gave me information on a non-profit organization called Wonder of Reading that trained mentors to work with kids struggling to read.

So I planted flowers at the school, then took a three-hour training course, after which I was assigned to read with a little girl and a little boy. They were both in first grade and I met with each of them for an hour a week.