ROME: February, 2003 (Part 3)

At the Excelsior, not splurging on room service or laundry meant grocery shopping to fill our mini-fridge and trips on a subway to a laundromat. I abandoned all pride and waltzed through the grand hotel lobby with sacks of food or bags of dirty clothes.

Buon giorno, Signora.

The bellboys, concierge and receptionists addressed me as "Signora" because I was convincingly masquerading as a married woman. Once I knew we would be traveling in Morocco and Italy, I decided — for "security reasons," and to show "respect" to "socially conservative" cultures — it would be best if William and I presented ourselves as a married couple.

At least these were the arguments I posited to my significant other/partner/live-in boyfriend. From a friend I borrowed a simple gold band with a tiny embedded diamond. Odd how it fit so perfectly on my finger...really, was that a coincidence?

William viewed the entire charade as exactly that. On the other hand, I was thoroughly enjoying the newfound dignity conferred by my upgraded status. I liked addressing the hotel staff with "my husband" this or "my husband" that and I wore the role well at the shop where I bought a gift for "mio marito." I shrugged in the world-weary manner of a wife and the saleslady shared a knowing smile.

Si, Signora.

I liked it, a lot, this pretend marriage. As I got older, going from the namby-pambiness of "girlfriend" to the cachet of "wife" gained importance to me.

Before we moved in together, William had a chat with his parents to alert them of our home renovation, our cohabitation, our eventual marriage and — something we both agreed on — that we would not have children.

They were not at all happy with the last item. His mother lamented that "nothing makes a person happier than having children" and predicted he would change his mind. His father simply saw no good reason for us to marry if we weren't planning on having children.

I waited for William at home.

How did it go?

Not well.

We hugged.

This is what I want, William said. You and me and the pets are our family.

So, as I saw it during our travels, I was simply setting the stage for our family. I polished my "wedding ring" and gave my boyfriend a sly smile.