The abuse continued. The next morning he looked at me and asked:
Are you going to put on some makeup? Or should I just get a paper bag for your head?
When we arrived at his house in Toronto he suggested I not talk to him at dinner.
I have to talk to people all day long. I don't want to do it at home too.
I watched in silence as he quaffed almost an entire bottle of red wine.
When I broached the predicament with my mother, she answered:
Do not tell me you're going to wreck this one too.
On my birthday, I was dressed up and sitting on the couch, waiting for him to come home and take me out to dinner.
Happy birthday!
He breezed in through the door and flung a large rubber sex toy at me. It landed heavily in my lap. I sat frozen in shock, staring at it. He laughed.
Just kidding...sort of.
He threw a gold box at me. Inside was an expensive wristwatch.
The fissure in the snow globe widened and water was leaking down its sides. From inside, the little figures with their painted rosebud mouths and jaunty skis stared at me.
In desperation, I insisted we see a couples' therapist. The psychologist met with us together, then separately. I was surprised when he called me at home one afternoon.
For your own safety, I recommend you leave this situation.
The snow globe exploded. Shattered glass, water and fake snowflakes spread across the floor as the tiny people tumbled off their phony mountain.
For four months I had worn the expensive watch before giving it back, along with the ring. That's how long it took me to straighten my backbone and run out the door.
Perhaps out of guilt, he gave me a parting gift.
I'll give you an airline ticket to anywhere in the world.
I chose Italy.
At the top of Capri that November afternoon, I knew that whatever happened to me, I would harbor the day. Alone in exile and eating a lunch of provolone cheese and prosciutto amidst the ruins of a blistering white estate, I was as free as Tiberius must have felt. As free as I would forever be. It was a freedom no one could ever take away. A freedom I would never again relinquish.
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